Love & Relationships

Ways To Blow His Mind In Bed

Soda Coda 21 September 2011 18:48

Have a new guy?  Need to spice things up with an old one?  Want to bust out something extra special for his birthday? Or maybe you just feel like going the extra mile tonight?  Whatever your reason for wanting to treat your man, here are five ways to blow his mind in the bedroom.

Talk dirty.
They say that a man’s most erogenous zone is his brain. This means, it really is more important for you to blow his mind than blow his…well, you know. The quickest way to bring him into the moment and add passion to your sex life is to start talking dirty. Don’t know what to say? Just start by talking about what you want to do to him, what you are doing to him, what you love doing to him, how good it feels or what you want him to do to you.

Play With “The Boys.” Few girls will tell you that balls are their favorite part of a guy’s body. But like them or not, the majority of guys find it pleasurable to have them played with. Whether you’re going down on him, on top of him, or underneath him, go through the trouble of reaching your arm around to play with the boys. He will be VERY appreciative.

Hop on Reverse Cow Girl.  Nothing spices it up like trying a new position.  A popular one that many guys call “the hottest thing ever” is reverse cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl means that you’re on top, but flipped around. So you’re straddling him on your knees, but facing his feet instead of his face. A little side note: He’s going to have a full on view of your bootie, so if you’re a groomer, you probably want to be pretty well groomed. This position is very revealing. (Which is part of why it’s so hot!)

4. Wake him up with a BJ. Some guys aren’t into making out in the morning, but NO guy is going to turn down a morning BJ.  Because guys’ testosterone levels are the highest in the morning, it’s a time when they want sex the most. And if he’s going to wake up with a boner anyway… you might as well do something with it. (Well, that’s probably his logic anyway). Show him how good you are at anticipating his needs by going down on him before he even has time to roll over and start poking you awake.

5. Tease Him. Good things are worth waiting for. And in the case of sex, the longer you wait, the more exciting it can be. Especially as a relationship progresses, sex can sometimes feel like something that’s rushed through as opposed to something that’s relaxed and enjoyed.  Spend time kissing him, touching him a bit, and then kissing him some more. Give him time to anticipate sex, really want it, and get extra excited. As a result… after you’ve blow his mind, he’ll turn back around and blow yours.



Ladies!! - 10 Things You Should Never Do in a Relationship

Soda Coda 21 September 2011 18:28

This article is for all women out there who find themselves in failed after failed relationships and can’t understand why. You’ve heard of ‘the rules’, I’m sure.


These are the Real Rules – Ten simple things to keep in mind if you want a happy relationship. Following these rules does not guarantee a happy relationship. If you’re in a relationship with a dick, nothing is going to make that relationship happy. This article merely helps you hang onto the good ones should you be lucky enough to find one.


10: Never be offended by the truth.
The truth isn’t always easy to hear, but it’s something that’s needed in a successful relationship. If your man tells you you’re being crazy, take a step back and analyze the situation. If he’s being a jerk and you’re justified then maybe you need to give the status of the relationship some serious thought. If he’s right and you’re being crazy, then calm down. You need your man to be honest with you, but you also need to be honest with yourself. Look in the mirror and honestly ask yourself who is right.

09: Don’t get jealous over his friends.
Your man cannot spend every moment of his day with you and trust me, you wouldn’t like it if he could. He needs to have friends and a life outside of his relationship with you just as you need to have friends outside of your relationship with him. If he wanted to hang out with his boys and have a few drinks don’t get upset. Let him have that time. Female friends are a bit tricky because there is an almost instinctual desire to be jealous over the women in you guy’s life. Hang tight on this one, ladies. There’s a whole article on the way next week addressing this issue specifically.

08: Never start fights or sulk about nothing.
Feelings get hurt over silly things sometimes. Something may feel hugely insulting to you, but it may not actually a big deal. When you feel your temperature rising and you’re so angry you feel like you could burst, sit back and really look at the situation. This goes back to rule number 10, but it doesn’t have to get to the point that your man thinks you’re a lunatic.

Before you start shouting at your man about whatever the issue is, ask yourself if it’s really a big deal. Ask yourself if you think he honestly meant to offend you or hurt your feelings. Chances are, he didn’t. If that’s the case, starting a fight will do nothing but lead to more hurt feelings – for you and for him. Save your time and energy for when there’s a real problem to deal with.

Sulking can be just as bad. If your feelings are hurt tell him why your feelings are hurt. Don’t just expect him to know. It’s been said a million times and it remains true – men aren’t mind readers. You have got to learn to stand up for yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to start a fight. It means you have to tell him if something’s bothering you. Don’t raise your voice. Don’t get weepy and emotional. Tell him the problem and get his feedback. Listen to that feedback and work on a solution or compromise.

07: Never be needlessly insecure about his feelings.
Not one of us can say for sure than the person we are in a relationship really and truly loves us. We aren’t inside that other person’s head. We can’t feel what they feel. We can’t read their mind to know what they’re thinking. We go based on our feelings and an underlying trust that the words they speak are sincere and that the respect they treat us with is from the heart. With all that said, you need to believe the person you are in a relationship loves you. If the words are being said and the actions are there to back it up, you have no reason to question it. If the words are there but the actions aren’t, it’s time to think about a change.

06: Never expect him to change for you.
Everyone has problems. With hard work and a genuine acknowledgement that change is needed, those problems can be addressed and fixed. The term once a cheater, always a cheater is bull. A tiger can change its stripes and a leopard can change its spots. Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Yes, of course – but the dog has to want to learn.

Men are not animals that can be trained. You can’t break them of a bad habit but rapping them on the nose with a newspaper. If your man has a bad habit when you start dating him, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll be able to break him of that habit. If he’s a smoker he’s going to continue to be a smoker unless he decides he wants to quit. Learn to deal with it or find someone else.

No man, woman or child is going to change just because you want them to. They change because they have the will and the determination to work to make that change for themselves or they don’t change at all.

05: Don’t treat him like trash and expect to be treated like treasure.
Strong relationships must be built on mutual respect. You need to treat your man like you want your man to treat you. If you fly off the handle over nothing, don’t get mad at him for doing the same. If you put him down and call him down to the lowest, don’t whine and cry if he returns the favor. You need to show him respect if you are going to demand respect and every woman in every relationship should always demand respect.

04: Never hold a grudge.
Relationships aren’t easy because as human beings we’re capable of inflicting tremendous amounts of pain on the people we love with one bad decision. Cheating is the obvious answer here. If your man cheats on you and you genuinely believe he is sorry, it’s okay to stay with him, but you need to let it go. You need to try to find a way to trust him again.

Mistakes do happen and trusting someone who has cheated will be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do but if you believe your relationship is worth it, that’s exactly what you need to do. If you can’t find that trust again, that relationship needs to end.

If you choose to stay with someone who has cheated or you take back someone who has cheated, you need to let those hurt feelings go. This is something that needs to be worked on as a couple, but if you both want it to work, it can. Once the decision is made to continue and you’ve decided to put those feelings behind you, you need to stick to it. You can’t throw the cheating in your partner’s face months or years down the line.

03: Don’t get hung up on a ring and a piece of paper.
Don’t pressure your guy to get married if he doesn’t want to. Be honest about what you want out of the relationship and decide if his goals match your goals. If marriage is important to you but it’s not important to him, you need to make a tough call – stay or leave. You can’t browbeat someone into walking down the isle. It will breed resentment and will do nothing but hurt the relationship. If you’re happy in the relationship, ask yourself why a ring and a piece of paper is so important. You can be in a committed, loving and serious relationship without exchanging vows. If that ring is important to you though look for someone that is interested in the same thing. Just as forcing someone to get married can breed resentment, so can feeling your goals aren’t taken seriously. If you don’t want the same things and neither you nor your partner is willing to compromise, the relationship is in trouble.

02: Never stay longer than you should.
If it is obvious that the relationship is not working then leave. It’s as simple as that. Change is scary. Being alone is scary. Being in a miserable relationship because you don’t have the guts to leave is worse than the uncertainty you might face if you leave. If you love him but don’t feel the way you used to and don’t want to leave because you don’t want to hurt him, be a woman and make your exit. It will be painful and it will be hard, but staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in is only going to hurt both of you in the long run.

01: Never pretend you’re someone you’re not to try to make him happy.
The real you will always come out. If you want a long and happy relationship with the man, you need to let him know who you really are. From the littlest things like movies and music to the biggest things like your future goals and aspirations, he is in a relationship with you – make sure he knows who that is.



Report - Men Don't Notice Women In Heels

Soda Coda 21 September 2011 02:54

Women sacrificing comfort to wear high heels could be wasting their time because men do not even notice, a study claims.

Experts at Northumbria University are studying the reactions of men to women walking while wearing high heels and others without heels. But the experts say research has shown that men cannot even tell if a woman is wearing high heels when they walk. It is part of a wider research project into attraction and the signals sent out by movement like walking and dancing.

Researchers at the university have already used 3D motion-capture technology to identify the movement areas of a male dancer's body that influence female perceptions of whether their dance skills are good or bad. The study, led by evolutionary psychologist Dr Nick Neave and researcher Kristofor McCarty, for the first time identified potential biomechanical differences between "good" and "bad" male dancers.

Dr Neave believes that such dance movements may act as signals of a man's reproductive quality, in terms of health, vigour or strength. Now another study is looking at women between 18 and 35 and what signals are sent out when the they walk with and without heels. Male observers in the experiment cannot tell which figures are wearing heels.

Neave said: "Women are spending money on high heels, which can be dangerous, presumably to make themselves look good and add to what nature has given them."

The study is investigating if the change in body posture brought about by wearing heels, such as the illusion of longer legs, tilting torso and more prominent rear, sends a signal which has an impact on men.

Dr Neave said: "Everybody is attracted to somebody else and making relationships is very important to humans.
"Making key relationships and having children are some of the most important decisions people will make. The role of movement and signals was fundamentally important.

"But scientifically we know very little about this," added Neave.

Dr Neave is also seeking heterosexual male recruits, aged 50 and over, as well as homosexual men aged 18-40, to be filmed by the 3D camera system that will convert their movements into computerised figures, or avatars.

This study will investigate if observers can detect differences in dance movements between younger and older men.

"As people get older they become slower and less flexible but we are looking for older men who don't have major movement problems and are fairly healthy and active," said Dr Neave.

"We are assessing male movements in terms of the information they signal. We suspect that movements are 'honest' signals of age, health, personality, and hormonal status."